Curtis and Cheri stood in front of a large horse stable, facing the campers with a horse. Curtis was holding the reins of the horse with a towel around his neck because of his insufferable allergies.
“This, is a horse,” Curtis lectured, “This is the front, and this is the back.”
The kids glanced below the well-endowed horse.
“Eyes up here, please,” Curtis gestured, “A horse is more afraid of you, then you are of him.”
Allan leaned toward DeMarco and whispered, “How do I beat Mayhem?”
Demarco whispers back, “Mayhem practices all year. But now that you’ve tried to feel the funk with Yvette, he’s really pissed off.”
Cheri continued the horse lesson, “You have to let him know that you are a friend. When you walk around the back, keep one hand on the tush. The horse needs to know where you are.”
“You hear that, Stephanie, one hand on the tush,” said Mayhem.
“I will kick you,” Stephanie yelled.
“Stephanie please,” Cheri insisted.
Allan leaned into Demarco again, “She wanted to kiss me.”
“I’ll talk to Mayhem. He probably won’t change his mind. He’s already giving you the hairy eyeball,” Demarco gestured to Allan to look at Mayhem.
“A what,” Allan looked at Mayhem a little closer.
Mayhem was staring at Allan suspiciously.
“Demarco. Listen,” Curtis insisted.
“We leave for a ten-mile horseback riding trip in two days,” Cheri instructed, “Let’s get you all some horses. If you want to go on the overnight trip, you must pass a riding test.”
“You will learn how to walk, trot, and more importantly how to stop,” Curtis added.
Yvette interrupted, “Another test?”
“Only if you want to go on the trip. Who wants to go?” Cheri asked.
“I’m in,” Demarco announced.
“Me too,” Stephanie added.
Curtis turned to Allan, “You going?”
The horse turned his head as if to hear Allan’s answer.
“No way,” stated Allan.
“I’m going,” Yvette announced.
“Well, maybe,” Allan suddenly changed his mind.
“Figures,” Mayhem mumbled, looking at Yvette for a response, “I’ll go if I can ride the black horse. Ronin. Ronin.”
The horse turned his head towards Cheri for her response.
“Mayhem, everyone is matched by height and weight, not color. So line up and shut up.”
Allan, Demarco, Mayhem, Smitty, Yvette, and Stephanie gather to mount their assigned horses as Curtis reads off the list, “Smitty, you will ride Tooter.”
“That’s appropriate,” Mayhem responded.
“Demarco, you go to Jack Knife.”
Demarco got on his horse with ease, but the saddle was loose, and he immediately slid off the other side of Jack Knife.”
Curtis continued, “Yvette, you are going to ride…”
“Allan!” Mayhem declared.
“Mayhem! Yvette, you go to Princess.”
Yvette gracefully got on her horse. Then, Stephanie got on her horse but screamed when it moved slightly.
“Allan, you’re getting…”
“Cracker!” Mayhem yells.
“Mayhem please,” Curtis yelled back, “Foreskin.”
The horse turned his head towards Mayhem.
“Enough. Allan, you go to Ronin.”
“What,” asked Mayhem, “This is bullshit.”
Allan struggled but mounted his black horse nonetheless.
“Mayhem, this is yours,” Curtis gestured to a skinny horse.
“Oh, come on!” Mayhem approached his horse, whose ribs protruded, and his back sagged.
As Demarco and Allan rode side by side, Demarco said, “We need to get to work to make sure you beat Mayhem.”